Beach and Company Parenting 5-16 Hour 3

Sandy Beach
Wednesday, May 16th

Are you an "Old Fashioned" Parent and proud of it. Listen to Beach and Company LIVE Monday thru Friday 9am-Noon on News Radio 930 WBEN 


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

And we are back where is BJ company cash go to word of his hours window WIN DOW. It's attacks that to lose seven to 81. And you might win a thousand dollars those who back the revolves around this is Dan west Seneca Danny little fashion apparently John Rosemont or not. I think I read W more than amnesty and the guy I I agree with you that the old fashioned approach. Shortly is in fact I think there's some obstacles. To which day you you refer to family and and a good base for children is having awful by like. Nuclear family and unfortunately today with the risk of divorce. Oh how's old don't have bothers. And I actually women who really believes it. Oh man are two very important and dynamic. Why did I am being where I did expiration divorce after being married thirty years. The one thing that I would grateful for my children were. Crawl shall be effective ban on them which minimal. But the attitude of the court or the father. I I wish taken back it was surprising. I think then I had advised to anybody and give your time. Take take that try and check interact with your children certainly nick can't. Looks. Good out okay are I gorgeous and about time because of the many time if a one on its parents are working. They are big town time working because there earning money for the family. As time with the kids and so oftentimes kids get a short shrift on that don't spend as much time. With the out as as your life but you don't feel guilty about it because you're earning money. I think the kids are rather have a little bit more time with the US and perhaps a little less money. And it cannot you are. And political on the life. The world has changed a little bit I think I yield we're hearing. I think marriage trying to have a successful marriage. Everything is much more complicated. Matters by the pressures their peer pressure. There is no right or wrong way we all do the bash that we can I will I will say net. You just blob what. Lead by example you know what your light your children will be polite if you work hard. Your children will work partner if you can take that time and give them a little guidance you're gonna bite out there one day. Like myself you know I used to babysit my children sandy and these days they're they're doing a little of it for me. Hi guys got a column that if you go big job raising them they'll help you in Toronto while you brought some excellent points and points and had their run up before this thank you Dan we really appreciate it. Hi guys it's it's it's a kind of a thing. Look like there's there's more than one way to do. I have been like most of what John Rosemont suggest that I think it's a good rational way. But when you're working with a child. That that child it is it does the job as a look complicated but the child is complicated. And 211 form of parenting might be more effective than another form of parenting would that same child I always use an example. Of a resource for those of you who follow resources and on target about. Into in a horse race. If you want your horse ago faster. What they do is they tap on with a whip it's not it doesn't really hurt images gets their attention that hey you should be paying more attention. Now some horses when you tap with a whip a run faster. Some of them stopped. So you have to know what what method deals I'm not suggesting any kind of a wimp when your job amusing that as a metaphor to. You have to know what motivates them and what doesn't motivate them and work like that unit doesn't mean you caved to it. But what it means is you're learning bear the secrets of raising that child. And the child is learning the secrets of becoming an adult through your tutelage. And that's the way it is sometimes. Motivation works better. Sometimes a via harsher voice might work a little better although gone to a all the time because it loses is the fact we hear him about his sports the coach knows what buttons to pull yeah that's exactly right. And so I think Tony's overall position is the best one and that is. Hey if church out of something wrong. If they feel badly Ford did for disappointing you know. That's a great deal punishment right there because they're processing it what they did was wrong. And you've treated them so well and you've taught him so well and they kinda. Self discipline more than anything else. I think that's right way to go if if if you can do it doesn't work for. It sets them up for the teenage years you know when when you're more likely to get in trouble and I may have gotten into trouble once or twice occasion occasional edification picking the right. You've got to look plant in their mind that that's the best thing to do it's video do the right thing and get the right reward whoever the reward is a smile. Whether the reward is you can use the keys of the car. Whether the reward is you can stay up five more minutes who knows what it might be obliged if you do that you got a better chance you message getting through yelling all the time doesn't work. Little spanking here and there aren't a problem that it's always controversial but there's a difference between that and and and doing the absolute wrong and it stops at a certain each child of god in his house think past you know six years old and no undefeated because presumably spanking you hear me at the end Aaron how are. Idea. Let's see what I've ever met you don't remember the most getting my mouth wash though so. That would leave it dead ice art I was teaching my sister swear which every brother should do that's you know. But anyway in order teachers systems where. You have to swear there's no way around it and it in those exit in those days the expression was. Do you want your mouth wash no whistle. OK I didn't want my mouth wash so slow but I I had to there was ivory. And to this day I can taste. Okay that happened when I was what 456. Something like that. And to this day I can to Asia. One thing that parents don't have today that my parents and many people like my parents had back in the day to put fear in the kids. Mines was. We see father baker. All you have all have a bigger font you can go see father baker may you straightened up real quick you know I wasn't here during father Baker's time. However I was tired from me to understand as an outsider at that time. How a man they could do such good work. And take care of children and all that was was seen as of the boogie man if you do the wrong thing by him by the ridge aria. And then the second vision I had thought the bakers going to be as saying don't you think he gonna gotten a better bridge in this because remember when before they Giordano was terrible. I thought maybe a better rouge rubio order. Let's go to two. And Maria Williams bill Emery on WB again. Good morning good morning dialogue. And yet. The one thing and he instilled in me a lot. And I didn't want to ever. I'll go out or try that they. Are allowed my pattern my other thing what. You do that in the or you know if you know. You know your producer and that your mother route for today. You she. Quaint sure. So that she grabs and Little Rock as good appreciation emblem and they did and you know I would only child so I let my son and my mother daughter. So whatever he I did you know lightly hurt you know hammered you know it an el amor I learned how to put up. Light fixtures that laid out lord it all and I'll learn from my out. You know I think that the parent or how he. Because they're working. Aaron marriage I'm. Rock. Yeah you know it's a problem. At all. There's no censure there's no answer. And as usually as you just said not enough time. The old expression which is true you can even have time or money you can have both. As are you gotta make very good fine dividing line between providing for your family and being there for your forum. And or does. It does they're doing there aren't enough tools around as a lot of ones 50% divorce rate. A lot of a lot of us some people who embargo that so there's a lot of is that what you're saying and in your parents were wise and Maria thank you. I don't what she said was it's my whole life. Oh well and I knew I was gonna get him a radio. You don't know if you're gonna major tonight we have no idea may be here and there for ten minutes maybe maybe you're in their for the rest of your life which is I've been fortunate okay. But so you don't know who you just don't know but the one thing that I've always had as my goal. Much more than than anything else. Is to make my parents proud enemy and as long as I did that I was successful. It wouldn't matter what size market I was and what kind of money I was making our kind of car driving as long as I've made them proud of me and they war. Right at the last day and so that I can sharpen up his success. But I could never have done along will be back with more under Israeli and I'm thirty WB program are we have day a bunch of FaceBook post why don't you give me a double blow. We do Pollack says world fashion our son's 23 he was not treated with kid gloves he was spent for appropriate reasons what were very few. He was taught to respect women he did not have public displays of temper tantrums. He was taught values he was tough failing matters in above all he was taught a work ethic that is seriously lacking today. That is that's a very good post that I know me are Muslim are from the read that because he was never spanked as a Giles however around last Thursday. I anyway you haven't employees. He's right there are people on the Arabs are it was left right. Up. A jet says I read a study a number of years ago in which a survey was given to two groups of when he won the world to assess their self esteem. One group was in prison the other group would that Yale have been president had more self esteem in the Yale student. That he has a point I think what's his name is like a lot of things got to earn it. They can't just give it to you. They can't just say here you should be very every year the best well you got to earn that he got to do things to earn it. Behavior are all attitude though maybe intellectual who knows what it might be but it isn't something that shows up in the mail one day. Let's go to Damian Williams bill aiming Iran WB again. Hello there. That's OK no need to be nervous when you think about old fashioned parenting you. We like it or not. I'm going to be Horry this year so I was great Atlantic is certain way back I get ready bigger. But. But I have I have a different way. Dealing with things because my son nineteen system. And I don't mainly everybody. Appeared in the general the typical children. And at the age of the and likely what it is. Like a typical child does this behave that way. You'd a couple of them and then they get it liberated childlike mind. It may take care and twentieth time. How is the learning process for you. Within autistic child because. Yeah as you said not the same meth is necessarily. How did you learn it. Well. A lot of patient. And a lot of. Support groups for parents. Special needs children. There's also. Signed late hit extracurricular activities are. There is outside of school where we go to a clinic for behavioral therapy and they were with me and they work with them so that we can. Worked together out. Terminally. Melting down at the old fashioned. But putting it has level. And just says all children are analyzed all autistic children and unlike so you have to you have to learn all the keys to this particular autistic child. So you have a double learning process going on same time. Right at the you know what there's there's so much support other. And so many programs for parents but Sony says that it did help me girls it's I think he's come so far. How do you said the goals and we're on does their job which must self same. Certainly things that they accomplish. Proportionately. Should be praised just as any child how do you deal with the with the self esteem issue. Well I'm healthy theme might is pretty. He's happy all the time. And look at that he denying and I think. That self esteem is or eat. Like. Myself feel like can I think as things played well. I played baseball. May never do that. I don't want him to feel like a typical child. We're at that doesn't seem to affect them at all. That's great Diaz has the mechanism of balance that's great. He guys sounds like says something it would be great for all of us are for our equilibrium. To understand. What's important. Jobs for years ago. My mother kept the way. Seven months later his father passed away yeah. And Japan he was just in the moment. And just didn't. I don't even Filipinos you know but. It was a rough time for me but watching him every day being sharper and really got racer and has just living in the moment he just he just always so happy well it doesn't seem to be an issue. That was the last no question about you oh we have that the extra. Extra responsibility. You have with a who do who have autistic child. About how hard was it for your stay focused or did you need some time away every once in awhile. That's that's quite a bit to handle on a daily basis. Is he gets everything. That's wonderful I don't I don't feel like I internally because he keeps me young he keeps it from aren't. So this is a you're you're giving to him he's giving viewers the same time. As wonderful what a wonderful story and me and I'm glad you shared with a thank you very much mind while. While anytime. Anytime you think you get a tough there's always somebody has even more responsibility. And and he gets his strength from learned she gets her strength program. It doesn't get better than that doesn't mean it's really difficult but the reward there is is also a magnificent. It Austria and I'm 301806. Months or untrue reserves are and I very Jon rose mine guy admire greatly and I had the pleasure of interviewing him in studio for three hours couple years ago when he was in town. He's fascinating and he is soul right on Israel's bond. Yes I'm old fashioned and proud of it he says he's old fashioned. Because he believes in a minimum of actors afterschool activities the unwavering assignment of personal responsibility. And discipline as well as stock and more action. Will be backwards more or I don't know if you consider yourself an old fashioned parent a new Israeli and I'm thirty WT yes. Here are Rolling Stone today Tony's. Iraq and somehow that this Keith Richards and news was deliberately do this stuff Ali strong. Across all of our costs I like he don't tell me anymore which are ways. And so it was earlier this senator guy who wants to a lot of coconut tree doesn't like our resident B who's stop the presses. Stop that a guy who looks like is like linoleum floor doesn't like the president what a shocker. Now a very take it's I have to give away into the video's star spangled spectacular. Early Friday may 25. And a week from the Friday. And Klein has musicals and 30 AM value is 66 dollars general congress rules apply cossacks were Florida and aides have five now and a random. Caller will be chosen Stephon centres. He's really via flow and buffalo philharmonic chorus. In the annual celebration all makes our country special. In Georgia is our veterans marches and music that pays tribute the American spirit. Show up at 9 o'clock and complimentary copy and dogs will be served so say hi to Tom pocket. In Oslo those complimentary copy and dollars this year. Let's go through and Nancy and hammers Nancy here on WB end. Hi they ending alone. I want to say one my mother was educator for over forty aren't here one of the things she taught me when I first became a mother was. But it's more important teaching children how to bail. And then pick itself off. And go on because everyone prays and it's out there sixteenth but they'll children who fail. Need extra help pick itself off and go on because more often in life you're going to stay out. Then had a great except and people need to learn how to pick up after the failed. Your mother was exactly right. There is. No problem with failing the problem is not trying. That's the problem. And anybody that tells you they've never failed is not telling you the truth. It's not being afraid to fail as your mother said is really what counts those of the dreamers those of the people who reach beyond what's expected. Those are the ones who suggests things were other people go or should have thought of that. Those are the people that are succeed and a very large way the motto is very is Smart did you did you know as much she was when you're kid usually we don't appreciate until world. Tonight in appreciated they'll allow all of her life last it's actually rate in children but. The other thing I wanted to say as you know I was child is going and one who led. Learning disabled. And I remember many signs when they would say I you know are those darn aren't so stupid. And I would call my mom and she say I one good thing that is good about. What they're doing and I would focus on the one thing that they are doing outstanding with the idea at the album that you regretted everything. You are great at something that a lot of people are not good act so. You're great at best and the other thing we've got to work on but you're great at one picture I think your outstanding debt and some people never BA BA it's good. At that as you are. Your mother learns that you are usually be very thankful you had. A mother like that because she imparted to her was from VO when you handed down. And that's great I mean these are fundamental. Things that are so important. Yeah and I've said before. That oftentimes you can learn more in losing some thing than you ever have in winning some thing. Because you may not realize. What the what you did to win but you certainly will realize what you do because you'll those. And go mother was very bright thank you met Nancy thank you very much. While I was there or vice. It's nice when you have mum on the follow American offer that kind of advice and of course I think it helps she says her mother was an educator it helps and you're dealing with the people who are willing to learn whether they're little kids or grown ups. That's good stimulates it stimulates your gets here it's affecting. Which is okay let's go to Jeanne Jeanne Iran WV Iran. Hello Jane what do you got today. I must say I wholeheartedly agree with that at all hours are all here. Your average if they're failed. You're an iron in Gerri now I want thing I learned more by failure I like the art. Unfortunately. This idea gotten the point where they don't want anyone to fail. Recent example is that Ehrlich trying to bury it in the record in May see and repaired straight days are. There and done she done it. Nausea as wrong. Absolutely. And that's just one example of what you see. It's it's not a personal failure. If you don't make the team because the criteria which was set out for everybody. You didn't you didn't begin to have it's of that level is nothing personal about it wasn't. Vision like they don't like you personally. But there there are certain goals set and though those goals when I met by U it's pretty simple. Right and the question I have is what happens way. It's like yeah it out into the real world whatever their job is to wait and see and they're not going to be able to deal with barrier. Oh that's true I mean that's three and I had to give a ballet. I got to our cuts from so many valleys causes it in our guys six were true and those are 280. No we're not going to be in our troop but I learned to deal that I learned from it thank you Jane thank you very much. It's like that what about that now look at Tony you've coached young kids so they'll make the team. But though what happens as you get older because you also to a high school sports show on WGR as you get older and maybe you know make the team and you're kind of whatever. I do they have the ability. Even at an older age to deal with that. And Al. These duplicates is got to the point where now parent groups let's say you they don't care for the coaching style. Or maybe they're they feel their child should be out there are starting. We're getting more playing time and then hassle they do is get together. With other parents former group to get the coach I'll fire obviously that is awful and it's a horrible trend going on right now we're seeing. A long time coaches say you know what I don't need this anymore off I'm Don. It's awful it misses all of the points are what sports is supposed to be good that. Is supposed to be good at winning a supposed to be learned that losing. And and the discipline needed to get the job done. That's wrong that's wrong are so many levels like and to. I don't like the school and I'll become a lawyer. Yeah exactly. And pretty so instead of on. Instead of a meeting and the fifty yard line of flipping a coin. They'll have a guy walk out with a briefcase is a lawyer isn't gonna make you make a pitch to lament a judge will decide. Told this story years ago when I was coaching that it was in north buffalo in I had a pair come up to me and say I am hindering. Her child's chance and a scholarship. As a man accused nine years old. There's no apologies Audi is how we got a shot sky I would roll meaner kids chances as college. That was you said look take your son Thurman home and play in deference for. I. Or regret remark I'd say the united thirty WVU. It is a beach governing. And we're talking about John Rosemont today because of all the things into economy. John rose lot of very common sense guy very realistic guy not a foo foo guy. He's a meat and potatoes guy and he's enormously popular because. He speaks a common sense. Here's an idea attacks. Says. The disrespect started. When teachers over children if you get Spain's Tellme and social services. Errands will take care of your problem. So it started there okay and and now they have asking and other weapons in the house and things like that that you that you get. You get. I was sort of what you ordered doctors asked that question I was wondered why is that you get a lot of people willing to parent for you. In fewer parents willing to parent for themselves. How many parents out there wish. And it wasn't like dead need either it is acting opposite the store or something like that. And they wanna get a little slot on the tush like nobody's business journal because you're afraid of Child Protective Services you don't and can't. Doing and you out of a point when we're in the break that is so true. Parents wanted you to be here for a lot of reasons okay. But one of the reasons is that if you discs if you dis respected them and you you acted like a brat. In public that would be a reflection on them. He sees those as personal pride in your child's behavior now it's not that way. If you don't believe me. You get a paper from a few days ago his shows to adult women having a fist fight in shock each case. Okay so are very willing to have a fist fight in front of children in a children's venue of Chucky cheese over god knows why. What chance do you think there is that they would be embarrassed by their children's behavior. Also what chance you think there is or their children someday will be duking it out a jerky seasons. Or when hockey dad attacks the rock for re your coach or another parent yeah so you know a lot of these subjects that we do. Get down to one word pride. And boy if you lose that. I don't know I threw a few of them before you if if you movers are you have to have it. And I don't mean falls right I mean real pride pride and yeah I am IQ it is very well behaved. And is and have people come from III complement of people. And restaurants and things when they have a child or Giles well behaved and stuff over the table Jerusalem is it. Your child is so well behaved. And that I think they appreciate that because believe me that's not accidental hard work goes into that. When somebody tells me my kids have good manners I take pride in that I usually don't get. It has something that Cheney's been pressing on them since day one is manners. As you can't go up through OJ allegedly giving the restaurants a future as a real brat because then you know you're you're gonna problems. But I do think that if a compliment. Is reserved. For compliment is earned I think it's usually very much appreciated. And if people wanna know that they're doing the right thing and I've done that many times idea I have done that memories. Of those donuts. What is again and the bugs is its own barbecue all. Sandy you all talk tomorrow. I'd rather deal pushes back. But there John Rosemont speaks. Speaks the language that we all understand. In that is common sense and fairness you love the kids but you don't wanna be and you know wanna be a working hard to be their best friend. Because as eyes as I mentioned earlier if you achieve that best friend's status. Don't ever expect to discipline them because they're best friends don't this problem they just do what ever they wanna do and that's that okay. And I don't you know a couple of do thousand dollars Nordstrom turning for sure but don't dress like your daughter. Especially if you're a guy. Humor there an autograph slugger your daughters your milieu Kenny I issued. In today's society anything goes. Well my child this is identifying Timmy is a girl to Moscow identifies the border letter pick out her own gender yeah it is natural pick your gender week Madison what that's who would you like to use all bets into ever decision members she like the sun dried tomato open iniki. Did this every batter of the Madison service record choice word and show you thank you about that. I know I I think it's like anything else if you take pride you work at it. And I you'll work at making sure your children aren't the best representation. Of yours of themselves and you know. And there's something about that and they can achieve prided along a lot of different ways but then not falls self esteem. As as he pointed out as self esteem has to be earned you your got to earn in Kansas. Kansas can I get the video same age everybody gets self esteem at the age of raging now you have to oversee. No it's not like that at all yet to accomplish something and they can be different things. But they you have to have a sense of worth. I can do this and I can do this well okay compliments. You know one area you'd eat sometimes you'll see a kid that's not behavior well and you immediately think. I'll water branded this of that but you have to take a step back in and take what was going on with this kid's life or recently. I'll witnessed a young girl. Who Samantha nose and she has a rough our home life and doesn't know how to either express things. Process things so takes it out in school with with with misbehavior. You only English can't control yourself. But you have to start it's a while she's really have a difficult time with this and understand what the whole life is like. And sometimes I was psychiatrist by any manner remains sometimes. By acting out in school she knows that petition is gonna get the teacher's attention or somebody or somebody's attention somebody cares about her enough to even reprimand her. Because who knows in school I don't know offers case where this you're just about. Who knows in it at home mean I get any of that may just be ignored maybe you should associates over in school she knows where the key is and there's nobody at home. You don't know. So just good teachers attention. Even if it's if it's it's a reprimand her is is a welcome addition to somebody cares about me. I remember weren't heroes are problems with a player and her team and pollute the child assign you'll find out what's going on. Any says sorry coach I haven't eaten in the 80 really all my heart broken immediately found him. I'll never forget the time there one there I thought. My program Mercury doesn't care about me. And so and so I just died. Some day he will and then one day did he call me in my in his office in reprimand him a fatwa he knows I'm here. What can get better than that he's bringing to us as the evolution Opel as even though. Are right that about wraps it up Abidjan governor thanks to our friend John Rosemont. A lot of you agree with John including myself but first before I always say goodbye. It is time I've heard cash total learns it is local. As opposed to national. Al OC AA Al local. And text the word local through 72881. And you might win a thousand dollars in cash. Well. As they never have to leave it be used certainly let you know have you given him.