Beach and Company Parenting 5-16 Hour 1

Sandy Beach
Wednesday, May 16th

Are you an "Old Fashioned" Parent and proud of it. Listen to Beach and Company LIVE Monday thru Friday 9am-Noon on News Radio 930 WBEN 


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

Well hello hello is BJ governor M sandy beach well I feel left out. Some are saying he had any. Some are saying who are all all I here and I've heard it all morning. Is Kringle. Pringle is in my head oh I should go through holes and then get a cream okay yeah I think gringo and Yani. Or immoral August Helen. I usually don't get involved what the is because I hate to take sides you know I'd like to be neutral. But all I've heard all morning it is laurel. I have not heard Yoni one time. And it's been Loral Loral Loral and I'm thinking is your name is Lauro. And you work at a company and somebody calls a NASA. Asked to be transferred view you're gonna get a lot of calls from somebody named Yani. I'm just thank you so well are you on a a what do you think Sony which one do you hear how her Loral Loral and the only. Which I've been all over the place yesterday I acts all this right after the show and I clearly heard Yani this more he would I was cutting it up the play on the air. Yani don't lie around 6 o'clock we played. It was laurel and I heard oral until bright and just played at 858. It was yeah are you coming out hey I arise the artists they got me all the time perfect. He heard yeah at me and I heard laurel on the same costs in ya well every I think I know the answer this by the way I'm not joking. If you have a car that has artificial voices and it Micah GPS system. The build their pronunciation. Is going to be different. My and I think whatever they send out gets processed differently bias. I'm so our conference's number Revere and an example. Years and years ago I notice that as the best man while ago. Go back to my Warner Bros. with the bat man logo. Ridgway the bad man logo look like a cartoon face of that man okay is the bat and logo. But every once or why you look at it it looks like a cartoon of a face with whom teeth coming down from the top. And boy once you see that if cancer cells in it I mean is we'll let that's why. Who eyewitnesses to crimes often vary and in different to be able seeing two different things. But now I I did not hear. Yeah on the to me because I don't like Miami. You know I don't know anybody in New Orleans several pretty and she's very nice a but I know no one named Yani and I certainly don't like any kids. I bet you're a Yemeni man now I've never known I'm now okay. So that that's what everybody is a talking about today and the other things like that where people see two different things. Now in the bottom opera announces that dress fiasco on line in Jos was no fun for me colorblind slow start and address assignment. Something happened I'm not mention her name OK and don't even allude to the name okay. Yesterday eyes on itemized tax board. It it gave a slam or somebody a person. Yeah I did not read it simply because it was my thought that that person had died. Aren't and it turns out that. People women drum thought he had gone H. I thought so but he didn't these are all alive. So now I can feel freer slam them Ohio yesterday you guys are all because. That's for sure he would pass. And I have some respect for that you know obviously. And I am sure that we have some I mean I'm writing had about it and just thanking that that they've used to do that and some of them. This jockeys would do dead or alive and they named different people. And it's and you have to say dead or alive and the minimum fast. And related incidents are staying fun thing to do FaceBook kinda does that people still fall for the scene celebrity you know lamppost and dying every year. Like Ollie at age yeah that was five years ago now there is yeah and there are online every once in awhile we'll it will go all over that somebody dies and you object you know me and writes like he light. The scenes on social media thanks a popular one dies every six months she's ninety something so I mean readily realistically usually is going to be right. If he's if he's there whether enough. I got a lot to talk about today including the fact that sometimes. Oh by the way before this on this how about this about this from Fox News. ABC. Set through diet. Old bat the political humor from probe from rose and next season. That she tweeted well that's what far. And loses saying ABC's Roseanne auto most popular television program zoom feature pro drug character. But you get used to sitting similar ideology on the station don't get used to it. For much longer ABC entertainment president Channing dungy what a name. Channing dungy. Put the kibosh on Roseanne remaining political. Apparently ditching the strategy could be network touted only two months ago what you think there might actually be a pro trump character on television. I wonder if NBC is thing about that for their late night comment alleged comedy shows. It it just shows ABC hasn't gotten the message right. They're gonna tell roads and to tone it down I'm sure they haven't told Jimmy Kimmel the tone it down exactly and now they solve the show they canceled. Now going to fox and probably going to be most of their succumbed. Now that's an event just don't like ratings yeah I guess there's so it's it's amazing highlights I like it when there was an as much obvious. Humor. Alleged humor about the politics politics is. Is that. Just ask enough that we don't have to be the subject to a only turn and I commented to him in a comedy show which we. Dial in to get away from politics nine into it and now I believe she tweeted this morning how we expect moreover it's slow idea doesn't sheeting get the memo let's put the dagger one thing. They picked on the wrong person if they picked him Roseanne. If she has a hit. Because she's not going to sit back and Leo thank you look network executives thank you for every suggestion. On how to make the show funny here it's already very popular. Then as I gonna happen it's not the right person he got to know in the hold of him when to fold them and I don't think he knows when to fold them. We'll take a break and that will get to our subject today it's an old fashions. Yes it is and some people can say yes I am old fashioned and I'm proud of it. I'm new Israeli and I'm thirty WB. There are used to be. That panting. Was so much along the same line. People raise their children basically the same there was a dramatic differences. I and everybody who raise their kids the way they were raised us they had some kind of traumatic childhood. Normally most of the time it's the same way the way your parents raise joke that's the way you raise your kids and then suddenly television showed up. And when television showed up they needed to fill a lot of times so they had experts on everything. Experts and gardening experts on this experts on that. But one of the the thing that we've got an abundance was. Experts on child rearing. You know you don't and maybe your mother and maybe your father have been doing it wrong this is the way to do it. And pretty soon there was a new wave child rearing. Instead of the things that there were tried and true and seemed to be working pretty well people tried new things they want to be on the cutting edge. They wanted to be a bit of that type of parent that every other parent wasn't. The day they love their kids more. They appreciate their kids more their kids are better because of the way they were raised under these circumstances. And as so that's the way it went for a long time you had touchy freely weepy parents. Who made big kids. The center of the universe. Instead of the kids being a premises to become adults. The as I've always said in. Most of the time it makes a lot of sense is that Europe Bure. Total job. As a parent your total job is to get your child ready to be a productive. I enriched adults aren't as you can do that that is good news succeeded and it gets tougher and tougher to do that. Good but now it seems like we're going back. Two. Earlier times away and old fashioned parenting seems to be coming back involved. An old fashioned parenting I think is far superior than modern food food de Paris parenting. And John Rosemont. Who if if you've ever read any of his writings are you saying oh lecture you've seen on TV or whatever. I I think John Rosemont hasn't nailed he is so good. He's a psychiatrist by profession. Policy job or via a site via psychologist John Rosemont. Was our show on C was supposed to be on because he was speaking in town. For an hour and day it was on for three hours that we could have been found room for all day because he's so good he is really good. And I have a rose one column here with says yes I'm old fashioned. And proud of it. Yes there's no need to look back and say hey. Can't you get with the times this is the way it's done now well because it's the way it's done now. By some people doesn't make it right it just makes it different at all and here is a part of his call Obama kind of scam this and go over what we're talking about. In individual occupies a fairly high position in the mainstream media recently told me. On 1 occasion that I am old fashioned. She meant it as a slide but I took it as a compliment. What I came out of graduate school in 1972 I was only indoctrinated. In psychological. Pan thing. And convinced that free six these parenting. Had a media. Area compromise. Abuse and mental health for children. That it had to go its demise would bring about a childhood utopia about which week. Are facing a brand new world. To wake up calls came in 1979. I realized courtesy of my supervisor of the Charlotte mental health center. That clinical psychology for all of the scientific pretense is. Was an ideology. They cared little to nothing for research. They contradicted its icons. And it's ideals they just wanted to do it. Even though if had been met through an approval now. The the second came on my son's very rational third grade teacher told me he was the worst behaved child. She had seen in twenty years of teaching. Now you can imagine as a parent. If you get that kind of a call yes your little darling is the worst behaved child. That this teacher had seen in twenty years can you imagine Tony if you ever got that call. You would say uh oh what's what time yeah that did George get your attention right. That 'cause my wife and I to reverse course and begin raising our child the way we ourselves have been raised and that's what I was talking about. Instead of just going by via the new book. So would you say yes who were era we're following the advice of doctors a darker Google sphere. And and only have a listen to Google does those rejected goats it's odd man he goes all the way out. It's a minimum of afterschool Darby however things now just so you know. These other things. They were raised on before which they did now and we're considered old fashioned but they say they're proud of it. A minimum of. After school activities. Okay that's the first thing now there's a ton of afterschool activities. You you feel you've got to can't have your card check out amused are engaged in every second of their life. There's no time for contemplation. Of time to sit under a tree and look up at the clouds and look at the cloud formations. I know it's not just run and play none none none of that it's odd time of afterschool activities. And among those I think Toni may yeah may give a Burr under his saddle as this one book I think there's there's too much. There are simply too much. You've got to have just like view as an adult working. You have to have some time off to realize just sit back and and relax and now there's there's all kinds of things going on all the time. The unwavering. Assignment of personal responsibility. So that's it if you did it irresponsible for I know I grew up like I needed to if you did it you gotta. You got to stand up for that's the alive and you know I never. Got into the I didn't do it. Because usually represented got accused of doing it whoever's saying you did it knows you did it may have proof of a look up. Those bad rap for it. Also wanted to get a radio I decided right away. I'm gonna take I'm gonna take responsibility for whatever I do have it's good I'll I'll big thank you very much of its bad outs they'll tell you I did it. Okay because it just saves a lot of time. Discipline. There was less talk and more action. So all that's a big one. Discipline. I used to be something pretty simple go to your room mule are grounded. And then they've changed the rules because there were more effect examiner in their home in the local arcade had. I was so there was no point in that. And so they kind of changed around what was disciplined so so are the things he's talked about amid a mob after school activities I mean as some it's usually women but it can be guys are in that way there's nothing sexist about this but usually women are driving the kids to five different things on the OK after school. You've got this at that 3 o'clock to get this at 4 o'clock in this at 5 o'clock and don't gonna have dinner and then at seven and why did you know. That's what they do a women and mothers turn into chauffeurs so you got to any afterschool activities. Do less personal responsibility. And discipline. He says the results were nothing short of amazing within three months our son had gone from being a classroom socio path. To bing in the words of the teacher a model student. So what they say is approves importing the rovers and the putting if it works now when I was saying every child's going to be exactly the same. As John rose months but if you go from the worst of the twenty years to a model student something happened. And something's working. Oh I don't know if you feel like you're an old fashioned parent and proud of it. It was calling Austria and Montreal 1806 point six algebra sixth I'm I'm very. That is to be the last guy. I mean it's not a full mailer The Rolling Stones that I am your biggest slide bats and drove past me I doubt it very much. It is a BJ governor who earlier John Rosemont who says he's an old fashion. And a parent and proud of it. Turned out that he used to apparent the way a lot of people that would be new nouveau. Apparently methods and so he got a message. That his Q it was the worst from the state your Siemens when he Ayers. So this I didn't is going to do it his way and here's what he did he won't he won't he went back to old fashioned methods. Which would be a minute any minimum. Of afterschool activities. The unwavering assignment of personal responsibility. And the discipline. That was a less talk and more action. He said before you know it it was an amazing. The teacher said there his. As a child I don't know as a. Oh boy girl went from being the worst student to a mall a model soon. So Tony is the only one we can go through on this because my child is no longer a child and there's a little buzz he beamer is running around. So Tony let's say you agree with the the Rosemont thing. Of a modern parenting or do you like traditional. Traditional I'm old fashioned take a lot of flak fall off sport you know I I I'm I'm old fashioned too I mean I think you have to be. Into a gross rent says I have been very responsible. And espousing a retro panning message ever since. In the coming along the way and ever more convinced that my profession has caused more problems for children. Parents families schools and culture and psychologists know how to say. I miss and no opportunity to say exactly that. Which has not endorse me to my colleagues. Albeit those who are somewhat secretly agreeing with me so what he's saying is that people do the same thing he does have rarely Roland. Because of a lot of different things. One of the things that he talks about in the column that is not this column. Is that. Parents somewhere along the line decided children shouldn't be. Featured players they should be the star of the show. And in other words children are learning to be adults that your job done item in the right direction be fair lovable lot punish them when necessary. And be reasonable and rational that's your job aren't. But somewhere on the line and they said. Well known. Our child must have an an equal voice. In in our family and that is a big mistake. Yes there's a big mistake coddling your kids are here in icu in sports. You know I'm involved with coach and baseball and football. It is seems at today's Katie if anything goes wrong the head goes down the tears start flowing in and they can't handle it because they've been council march. And and not just coddling just regular home model. Putting a rubberized. Playgrounds. So that one little Johnny falls off the the jungle gym. I'm just go to Ruble will there and the UK you know at each book is meant to be endured. As much as second thing Els. That's when you get childhood diseases. Not a bureau making certainly but that that gives you an immunity when you become an adult. And if you don't get childhood diseases and you get him as an adult. 10 look out so you're you're just gonna have bet your child's gonna fall down. You have five it is 2000 again a scraped out ball. The these these different things that are part of childhood some more serious than others. But parents. As seen through the would be new a type of parenting seemed to make you wanna make her a perfect childhood. Would nothing nothing negative happening that is a life. That is a life finalized from our allies lessons as to learn how to deal with adversity sometimes it's minus sometimes is more of a miner brought. If you can handle that that's Tibet is it called learning from your mistakes absolutely absolutely no question about it. So Rosemont continues in this column I'm old fashioned as opposed the progressive. Because I care about his search and there are surge is clear of an emotional resilience the essence of good mental health the ability to deal functionally. Would disappointment and failure of resides best in children raised by parents. Who is here whether wittingly or not to the pre 1960s. Very dim. A whole lot of love. And a whole lot of unwavering unequivocal. Authority. And asset. Parents often times. I don't like to look good to use the authority which is bears and should be used. Because if they understand your authority right around there will be understanding hopefully the authority. Of the boss. A withdrawal instructor I'm a policeman of the different parts of this society that they're going to run it through there aren't coddling them. And and so that's the way he sees it he sees in Europe. Goal in infusing children with high esteem has programs proven to be a complete bust yet. Okay yet you want your child that thing you oh yeah oh good he's not a a dunce or she's not a dance but this high esteem thing this team has to be earned. OK and if you're really you really worked hard to accomplish something. Then maybe you've earned some steam in that area but esteem isn't just assigned to you because you're there you know army and that's. Where every child gets a trophy. That's part of his team I'm now I don't know you don't agree with that I mean I know you you do agree that every job should give trophy I don't. Yeah I think he can give every cute trophy but as long as you have your specialty trophies like your MVPs. You know Euro offensive player defense of player something that shows that these kids while other kids were recognized for. Outstanding OJ yeah yeah I think you have to reward achievement. Not just being there. In other words try a job where you were just there. And tonight alas in the job along get a get him to a job where you would change something even if the achievement is just the assignment of your dodi's. You've achieved doing what they aggression that's fine that's good that's legitimate but just for being where. I don't know. I think that that's part of a high esteem thing. And today's a modern parents and believe me I use that term grudgingly. But today's modern parents want every kid no matter what solves small large Somalia. What ever starter never player it doesn't matter superstar. Non a non productive everybody has high esteem while at higher esteem doesn't work doesn't. A when you get out in and find a you have to earn as seen. And so that's something that the Rosemont is looking at two he says it's been a complete bust and it has. It's it's it's one thing to say you know gee you didn't get a good to report cards so you must be stupid well nobody would do that mature. You know really out there are no you say you can do better I'm I have full confidence in you. Now we have to do is figure a way to make sure your giving it your best and once you that's of that. Once you've tried hard and you've given it your best then that can be reward because a lot of people on the wanna do that. They just think by the aura of them being there and their parents coddling them and adoring. Element and that exists. Four sometimes for no achievement well. That they should just get one because. Of the presence that they are command when their in the Rome and that's not right. I'd children are are learning to be adults and they should be Tia it's on his children a lot of a lot of parents. I'll let kids make all kinds of decisions. Now now you're you're a parent you are supposed to be showing the way you're the manager you have a coach you know the one who guides them from your experience. You know it's they don't tell you. What the best game plan is as you tell them people like to do that. Well I wanna be fair and now lists this modern ball lonely that's what it has and that and UCE. That we've got a lot of people just turn on the TV sometimes who are young people who think they already have the answer is they don't need any guidance from adults. And that's the way it is a million who put them that way parents. Adults. They have not earned it yet they have to earn it in order to get it. And I don't think they get that it 030930106169. Degrees six start and I'm thirty. Yeah you show love your show guidance you show bits are your part time disciplinarian don't like to do it when the world sort of you have to do. And I think you you raise a better kid. Because the kids always going to be a little darling in your eyes but not necessary and everybody else's. And there you'll turn a blind that will be back remote I don't know if you agree live. John Rosemont I am an old fashioned parent and proud of it back after the. One more quote from John Rosemont column and then we'll get through some of the calls. The goal of infusing children was high self esteem has proven to be a come bus. Oh good zero zilch nada. Has come over. We know for example that women in relationships with the high self esteem males are insignificant in danger of emotional and physical abuse. I'm old fashioned because I absolutely know that high self esteem is a problem. Not a solution to a problem. And why as this topic I mean you may think are urging. People give them there feeling manager behind them. But if you do too much of that they get a feeling of invulnerability. That they're the best when indeed not the best okay. And you get the feeling that they can do or say anything because they're special not special. This specialty do. But they're paired children most of them are average summer above average some below average. I'm different learning speeds different adaptability is whatever but they're kids. And they should be reminded that they are kids and they're learning to be adults. Do you agree with this philosophy are you'll fashion or do you believe John Rosemont is is is in the wrong I totally believe that these. He's right this is we've seen so much of it. How many variety kids have you seen. A lot go to a restaurant sometime. Okay by Ben part of it that filters down he go to Chucky cheese and and mom and the other moms are duking it out throwing fists. Not exactly. What's yours what you would think of as a good rule blow. Let's go to repeat on a cell phone impede your on WB yen. And locally. OK Pete was there Pete is no longer there let's see if and is there and here on W via. Hello I am what's gone on child rearing one what are your thoughts. How old Powell award and maybe unfair I agree. What why. Or why or promote school and it would come out flat label and let it laid up and vote and it was London U. It seemed that they had to get. Salad warm and and that it doesn't get it and get. Because. They maybe that's what I. I believe the old world could pay a fairly Harold. And when it comes out how good our parent and quote legal. But we can't put that you out there and you can't feel as if you look at it and didn't get out. Why are they out and that I know what they do they do. It can be at work it either let it get it I didn't get quite as selfless struggle goes well. And add to that effect saying it how how warm well. I've got to do you can't do I have seen and it outlook at sign on what he'll play. I'm a long beautiful number no we can't let I don't think we built an saying so GAAP. They cut is not feasible and not go. That's a bad is very wise. I think a lot of parents that's their first goal is to be the best friend of acute which it has a best friend and it doesn't you a good sounding great advice there we really appreciate it and thank you of growing. Yeah exactly. That's exactly right. The bottom line is that if you tried too hard to be the friend of your child instead of the mother the father of your child. Is that I don't work out too well idea totally agree with what I am listening to if you buy into that. Yeah I do EO goes into the and I don't know if John Rowe responds when this that it bought. You don't want your kid to fear you you want your child to fear. Disappoint you knew. Yeah that's that's strong I mean that is strong and today and you know what if theory is not the right word because fear. Kind of chase are all real danger OK but you wanted to be apprehensive. You don't you don't want to feel comfortable knowing that the next time they see you. It's not going to be all lollipops and roses I think there is a difference. In my kids are at the point now where they will be more upset that I am upset let's go to they disappointed me in you know that that's wrong that's the strongest way. I think the strongest way. Are you going to say fear. I don't like to use that word because it's it's too strong a word. But I know that if I did something wrong when I was growing up. I didn't fear that it. Evening my father would come in from work. But I was apprehensive about it a bet because I didn't know what was going on one thing that I did know is that. I would have to be responsible for whatever I'd done. And that's the key to I mean look at the difference now a teacher looks cross ways that it at a student and settling lawyers are involved it's ridiculous. It really is and how many terrorists and their kids' school room thinking their kids can do no wrong. Then obviously. If there's a conflict of what actually happened between the teacher and and your kids. Your kid is right the teachers wrong and you can turn that around because 99.9. Meant as a good time. It's a big feature was right and the kid was wrong. The other get your arms around that otherwise you're going to be following him around her around the rest of their lives being apologetic. I'm having a lawyer on speed dial and getting into a lot of arguments and I'm being very. Much in demand as a house guest. Missouri got to realize that that Joel darling is in everybody's a little darling by a long shot under Israeli. Saturday. And we have we have the cash go. The word for this hour is pizza. PI's. Easy today that some pizza if you want through. Through seven you hated want him to win a thousand dollars.