BELLAVIA: The Mueller Report Autopsy

21 'takeaways and why we are more confused after reading the report

April 19, 2019 - 5:35 am

Buffalo, N.Y. (WBEN - David Bellavia) - The Mueller Report, released yesterday, is almost 500 pages long. To put that into perspective, let’s compare this read to an American classic: John Steinbeck’s 600 page monster East of Eden. Written in 1952, Steinbeck took approximately two and half years to complete his work; the same exact time as Mueller needed to complete his investigation. One happens to be a cornerstone of American literature, the other cost the American people an estimated $30 million. Both will take two pots of coffee to finish. Both are based in fiction.

The most gob smacking aspect of the Mueller Report is that we only found out about the scope of the entire investigation on the day the report was released to the American public. Hidden away on page eleven of volume one of two. Yes, I said volume one of two. (CS Lewis gets us from a wardrobe to Narnia and back in less time than Mueller gets to the point of Russian collusion.) It takes only eleven pages to discover the entire premise of this investigation is based on Christopher Steele’s made up account of disgusting sexual exploits, open sourced research and unverified gossip cribbed from the now defunct CNN’s IReport chatroom website. The dossier was paid for by the Democrat nominee for the 2016 Presidential election as opposition research. This was the founding document that gave us the Mueller Report.

A high school teacher wouldn’t allow that bibliography.

Then when a Special Counsel investigation is created, Mueller brings in prosecutors, agents and investigators who themselves are conflicted. Mueller hired people who attended Clinton rallies, her election night party, donated money to her campaign and worked as general counsel for the Clinton Foundation. Some even texted each other that they had a fatwa against President Trump. I am talking serious conflicts here.  Sounds fair.

What did they find?

Not only did they determine zero factual basis for our American President to be a Russian agent or even accidentally colluding with Russia in exchange for electoral votes in Michigan and Pennsylvania, we can actually state with complete certainly that there was no BASIS to even ask the question of why this investigation was merited. Not only was there was no result of collusion, there was no reason to investigate collusion in the first place. We essentially could have spent two and half years investigating if Senator Ted Cruz’s father assassinated JFK in Dallas in ’63 with the same chain of alleged evidence that brought us to today, post Mueller report.

Here are 21 fast facts I learned that you can use to impress your friends that you actually read this report:

  1. Seth Rich did not leak any emails from the DNC to Wikileaks. Remember Seth Rich, he was murdered in DC. Killers never found. Julian Assange put a $20k reward for information about his death. Implying he was a source. Turns out that Julian Assange is and always has been a liar and an agent of anti-American propaganda. Fake news.
  2. Robert Mueller knew the President did not collude and did not obstruct and STILL wanted him to testify for this investigation. What would be the purpose of that exercise? I mean, other than to catch our duly elected President in a perjury trap.
  3. Internet Research Agency of Russia (IRA) got involved in the 2016 election. They started many Facebook groups that targeted Immigration, border security, Tea Party members and other points of view that were intended to provoke the right wing in the United States. You will hear that all over CNN and MSNBC. Something you won’t hear, something that doesn’t play to the pro-Trump narrative, is that they also spent as much money on left wing causes. Groups like “Blacktivist” and “Don’t shoot us” and the group “Black Matters.” And they also created a Facebook page called “United Muslims of America” and multiple LGTBQ organizations. Something many on the left consider to be of little to no importance. Another gaping hole in the coverage of the Russian IRA group is that this all happened under the closed eyes of a narcoleptic Obama Justice Department, Department of Homeland Security, James Clapper, John Brennan and a brazenly unaccountable Facebook corporation, more focused on limiting the free speech of American citizens than stifling Russian propaganda.
  4. Trump allowed his cabinet and personal attorneys to testify for hundreds of hours in person. Never once bleach bit any servers. Voluntarily turned over 1.4 million pages of documents. Never exercised his right of executive privilege, something every President since Iran Contra has done. Now, compare this to Obama pulling back his AG Eric Holder’s 21 emails regarding Fast and Furious as privileged, even after being held in contempt of congress.
  5. Mueller used 19 attorneys. 40 agents. They interviewed over 500 witnesses. And produced almost 3,000 subpoenas. After all that, nothing close connecting Mueller to his mission of finding Trump collusion. Perhaps next time around the Attorney General should hire Sheriff Joe Lombardo of the Las Vegas police department as the next Special Counsel.
  6. No prosecutor or Special Counsel has the authority to exonerate anyone. The great Robert Muller does not have that authority either, nor was he ever tasked with that purpose.
  7. The best phrase that sums up the nonsense of this report: “(special counsel) can’t conclusively determine he (Trump) did not commit obstruction of justice.” Another way of writing that and as truthful would be to say, “I can’t conclusively determine that he did commit obstruction of justice.” Or even better, “Donald Trump did not commit obstruction of justice.”
  8. Jeff Sessions was really in over his head. He should lay low and enjoy his forced retirement. Sessions comes off so bad he makes Omarosa look like a competent cabinet member.
  9. Turns out that collusion isn’t in the US Code and isn’t actually even a crime. You would think that would been on the front page. Or at least mentioned more than once in the 500 page report.
  10. Hope Hicks really shows herself to be a savvy and well-polished, loyal servant to the President. Things we never got to see through the lens of the tabloid coverage of her time at the White House. The media was more concerned about what she wore and who she dated.
  11. I actually appreciated the redactions. It was a pleasant break from all the text.
  12. There were at least FOUR electronic surveillance operations conducted on members of Trump’s 2016 campaign. Using a court that was funded, empowered and designed to quickly find terrorists threatening to kill American citizens’ post 9/11. Think about this the next time the intelligence community begs for funding for these programs and asks taxpayers to trust them in the proper use of this unconstitutional power. They used this unvetted authority to eavesdrop on a political campaign in the guise of national security. And Carl Bernstein doesn’t seem to care.
  13. A president elected by the American people has had over half of his term hijacked by an allegation that the investigators knew was based on a false narrative in the first fourteen days. This investigation concluded after two and half years. That is over 435 Rachel Maddow monologues (114 with glasses) fronting a greenscreen with various graphics of Russia and Trump. All for nothing? Dozens of lives destroyed in the process. And we have nothing but convictions over non collusion crimes.
  14. If Paul Manafort deserved solitary confinement for his lack of participation in the Mueller investigation, he certainly showed up scores of times in this report. Seems like he gave a ton of information regarding the 2016 Trump campaign. El Chapo was treated better in Federal custody.
  15. If having the intent to commit obstruction of justice is worthy of impeachment, even if you don’t do anything to act on that obstruction, New York State should arrest everyone with a car with more than 500 horsepower for the intent to speed.
  16. Michael Flynn, like Chris Collins, spoke to the FBI without an attorney. Mental note: don’t ever do that.
  17. The more you read this report, the more evident it becomes that Mueller’s entire mission here is to find the grounds to indict President Trump. And had the President agreed to that sit down interview with the Mueller team, that is exactly what would have transpired.
  18. Volume two of the report details an intent crime that Mueller knows he could never win in court. Mueller agrees with AG William Barr that a sitting President cannot be indicted according to Article II of the Constitution. He states he agrees with the OLC interpretation. So what was the entire point of this again? What was the point of this exercise?
  19. Let’s all hope that no one asks Robert Mueller to investigate the Notre Dame Cathedral fire.
  20. You get the feel that Rod Rosenstein isn’t allowed to speak in public anymore?
  21. As much as I appreciate Sarah Sanders and her handling of the hostile media pool, her testimony that she basically fabricated the narrative of why Comey was fired erodes her credibility as White House Press Secretary. Not a good look.
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